Purgatory Maybe?
by TheMicaelaMickey
Summary: Millie Winchester just had the worst year of her life. She had to leave the man she secretly loved behind to suffer in purgatory alone. And although she was now reunited with her brothers, it was not a happy ending. She came back to find the her twin brother had replaced her with a dog and her other brother had completely shunned his responsibilities.
1. Prologe

Dean, dad's been gone for far too long. We need Sam. You know we work better as a team" Millie said to her older brother.

"No! he left to go to that fancy school. He's made his choice. He doesn't want anything to do with this life or this family." Dean retaliated.

"oh you know that's not true. He may show it differently but he loves us. And he would definitely care to know dad's been missing for over a month." Millie sighed. "Look, I'm not overly excited about it either. He wants out of this life, and here we go trying to drag him back in. But we really need his tracking skills."

Millie hated having to suggest going to get Sam. In truth she held on to the same feelings that Dean held. Sam left us on his own accord. Millie can still feel all the anger and betrayal that washed over her the night her twin brother had accepted the scholarship. He left her there with Dad and Dean. But in the years since Sam left, Millie has learned to see Sam's side of it all. Sure she hates that he left, but she has come to understand why, it still didn't help the overwhelming feeling of betrayal.

Dean unclenched his jaw with a sigh "Fine, I guess you're right. Let's go get Sam."

Dean and Millie pull up to Sam's apartment building in the impala. The engine roaring loud in the night. Dean parked the car in an ally as they hop out. "So." Millie said, her voice breaking through the cold silence. "What do we do now. It's the middle of the night and we didn't exactly call him in advance." She looks over at her brother when he didn't answer right away. The Mischievous look on Dean's face was quite the surprise.

"We can always mess with him" he said with wide smile.

"What do you have in mind?" Millie answered raising an eyebrow with a sinister smile.

"We climb in the window and scare the shit out him in bed. Like when we were little"

"He's not a little boy anymore, he'll hear you coming before you make it through the window. He was trained by the same man we were" Millie stated

"Nah, I bet he's rusty enough for me to make it to at least his bedroom door."

Millie holds out her hand to her brother without taking her eyes off of Sam's window. "I'll take that bet."

Dean takes her hand without a second thought. A wide smile on his face. Oh how he loves winning a bet with Millie. True it didn't happen often, but when it did it was worth it, and tonight, he's feeling lucky. "The regular wager?"

"But of course" And with that Dean was off, jumping on to the ladder on the fire escape. Millie rolled her eye and laughed to herself. She had dealt with her brothers antics all her life, she would win this bet she knew it. Millie made her way to the apartment doors and started up the stairs to find the apartment door. She fished her tools from her pocket and picked the lock making her way inside the apartment. It was tidy and well kept, Yup that's her Sam alright, always organized. Millie notice first a pink scarf hanging on the coat rack, then her eyes fell on a brown purse on the side table. _Oh Sammy, you found yourself a girl_ she thought to herself. The realization that they were not only trying to bring Sam back to a life he never wanted, but also taking him from a relationship hit Millie hard. If she wasn't so worried about dad she wouldn't be here and just leave Sam alone it's what he wanted anyway, to be as far from them as possible. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of dean stumbling through the window. _wow smooth big brother,_ She watched Dean walk through the kitchen in the dark. Out of the corner of her eye she saw another figure creep around. She watched as Sam stalked toward Dean, had his back to her so she wasn't worried about him seeing her and taking a swing in her direction. Dean rounded a corner and Sam swung his fist at his brother, unknowing of the family relation. Dean dodged Sam's swing and they began going at each other. Millie watched in amusement as her brothers fought, Sam still not realizing it's Dean he's trying to over power in the dark. Sam lost his upper hand and Dean knocked him to the ground and rolled on top of Sam, pinning him to the ground. Dean started to laugh as Sam struggled. "Whoa, easy tiger." Dean smiled.

"Dean?" Sam said confused. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"That's 'cause you're out of practice," laughs Dean still on top of Sam

Millie watched as Sam flips around and slams Dean to the ground. "or not." Dean laughs.

Millie turns on the light and just shakes her head at her brothers, still tangled on the ground. "You owe me some pie" She said to her oldest brother. Dean rolls eyes and laughs as Sam helps him up.

"what the hell are you guys doing here?" Sam asks looking between his siblings.

"Well, I was looking for a beer" Dean said cheesly patting Sam's shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing here?" His question directed at Millie this time. Knowing she'll likely get to the point faster than Dean.

"We've gotta talk"

Sam glances at the clock, acknowledging that it's the early hours of the morning. "Uh, the phone?" He said with attitude.

"If I'd have called, would you have picked up?" Millie accused. She noticed the look of shame and hurt that crossed Sam's face as she said this, but it faded quickly when he noticed a girl walk in. She came in rubbing her eye, she obviously didn't like being woken up to intruders in the middle of the night. She wore the smallest pink shorts that Millie had ever seen and a shirt that looked as if it were made for a ten year old.

"Sam?" The scantily clad girl said. Millie saw how Dean immediately put on his flirty smile, She couldn't help but roll her eye at her brothers antics.

"Jess. Hey, Dean, Millie, this is my girlfriend Jessica"

Dean continue to look at Jess appreciatively. His eyes moving from her head to her ankles and back up again. "Wait," Jess said "your brother and twin sister?" Jess smiled as Sam nods. Dean makes his way over the Jess

"Oh, I love the Smurfs." He says, pointing to her crop top "You know, I gotta tell you. You are completely out of my brother's league" Dean stated standing in front of Jess.

"Just let me put something on" Jess obviously not appreciating Deans flirtations.

"No, no. I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously." Dean smirked at her.

"knock it off Dean" Millie said, growing tired of his inappropriate actions.

Dean glances at Millie and looks back at Jess. Then makes his way back over to Sam without taking his eyes off Jess. Sam watched him, his expression stony. "Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business. But, Uh, nice meeting you" He said with the same cunning smile on his face.

"No" Sam says, catching everyone in the room of guard. Sam walks over to Jess and pulls her close to him. "No whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of her"

Dean shrugs "Uh, dad hasn't been home in a few days." As he speaks Mille makes her way over to stand beside Dean

"So he's working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later." Sam retaliates with a hint of sarcasm. Dean glances down at the ground and chuckles a bit.

Millie jumps in "Dads on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days" Making stern eye contact with Sam. They have always been able to understand each other without ever having to say a word. Although this particular time, she assumed he understood what she meant when she said 'hunting trip'

"Jess, excuse us" Yep she was right "we have to go outside" Sam said with very blank expression on his face. they made their way out taking the stairs quickly Sam trailing in the back. "You two can't just show up here in the middle of the night and expect me to come with you"

"You're not hearing me Sammy, dad's missing and we need your help." Dean stated as he continued down the stairs.

"He's been missing before Dean he'll show up again he always does." Sam retaliated.

"Sam" Millie said as she turned to face Sam stopping their progress down the stairs. "this time is different he's never been gone for this long. So are you coming or not?" she challenged him.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter one the return

There was a bright light and Millie felt a strong pull from her center. Once her eyes adjusted to the dark she was now in, she saw that she was in a forest somewhere. Millie could hear voices not far from where she stood and decided to go towards them. The voices had been coming from a group of campers in their twenties. She could hear them talking about trivial things that only reassured her that she had made it back to the world she came from. Announcing her presence, she stormed over to the campers "Where am I? Where's the road?"

She must have startled them, because they just kept screaming. Although Millie couldn't blame them for being frightened. She was covered in blood of every color and hadn't interacted with humans in what could have been a year or so. She wasn't sure how long she had been in purgatory but it felt like an eternity. Though she understood their fear she really didn't have the time for this. Millie grew more impatient with every passing second.

She pulled her gun out of her pants "Where's the road?" she repeated louder this time.

One of the male campers pointed to the left "about twelve miles that way" he stuttered.

That was enough for Millie. She started in that direction without another word. As she made her way through the thick trees she thought of her brothers. They must be so worried about her. Dean is probably trying to drink away his feelings and trying to get information from Crowley. And Sam probably had his nose in a book or searching the internet for something. Millie just knew that her brothers where looking for her. The three of them they stick to together, and would do anything for each other. They are all they had, nothing in this world matters nearly as mush to them as their family.

Millie finally found the road. She looked around and didn't see anyone on the roads. So she starts walking. After an hour or so a car drove by and agreed to drive her into town. Once in town she used the little money she happened to have on her when she was sent to purgatory to pay for a bus ticket. The bus ride was long and tiring. She kind of felt bad for the people around her, she knew she must smell awful. In fact quite a few people had given her money thinking she was homeless. She used that money as well as some thievery to pick up a few essentials: cloths, salt, cleaner, and a silver plated knife.

After a few days of bus rides, hitchhiking, and walking. She finally made it. It was dark when she got there but she could definitely see the word _Lafitte_ engraved in a stone wall.Yup she was in the right place, she hoped. Her left forearm ached, but that's nothing new. She made her way to the windmill in the middle of this small field. Once there, she positioned herself correctly and took four paces, she looked at the ground questioningly. It didn't look like a grave, but this is where he said he was. "This better be you, you pain in the ass" and with that she began digging. It took her far longer to dig up this grave then she would have cared for. It never took this long when she's with her brothers. Once finished, she stood over the grave examining her work. Her arm began to sting with pain and she knew why, it was because his body was so close.

"oh hold on!" She snapped at the pain in her arm. She quickly took off the jacket she was wearing over a tank top. Her arm was glowing orange, just as it has been for the past few days .She grabbed her knife and braced herself for the pain. She cut the flesh covering her forearm and began the spell the he had taught her. As she spoke the Latin words an orange glowing goop dripped out of her arm and onto the corpse. The pain was sharp and deep. Once all of the goop was out of her arm she fell to her knees in relief, the pain is finally gone. Well now her arm hurt because of the cut, not because her was carrying the soul of her friend. Millie heard someone exhale behind her. She turned her head quickly at the sound. The face that stood before her was a familiar one.

"huh, that worked faster then I would've thought," Millie said as she got back on her feet.

"Yeah no thanks to you. What took you so long?" Benny said with a hint of humor in his voice

Millie rolled her eyes. "you're welcome"

Benny just smiled. He began to roll his shoulders and neck around. He flashed his fangs, testing out his new body. "how are you feeling?" Millie asked

"good enough." Was the only answer he gave.

"So, what now?" Millie asked. Although she knew the answer.

"like we talked about I guess." He replied solemnly.

"So this is goodbye." It wasn't a question, because she already knew the answer.

"You be safe now, lil' missy" he said with a smile on his face as he started to walk over to her. "We made it, sweetheart. I cant believe it." He pulled Millie into a tight hug that lifted her off the ground.

Millie giggled into his shoulder. "Neither can I."

They pulled away from each other and nodded. It was a hard goodbye but a necessary one. "please be careful out there Benny. The world is a lot different now."

"I know Millie. I will."

"love you"

"oh don't get all sappy on me missy. I'll be fine. Thank you, Millie, for everything."

Millie gave him a sympathetic smile. "good bye Benny."

"Goodbye lil' missy."

Millie turned and walked away. But before she was to far off she heard Benny say "love you too" under his breath. Millie's heart melted, but she didn't turn around. She just kept walking. It was time to go home..

The last place Millie knew her brothers might be was the best place to start, she had tried calling them but all Sam's numbers weren't in service and Dean's voicemail box was full, so Rufus' cabin it was. Once inside, it was clear that someone had been living there. As she looked around the small cabin she saw beer bottles and guns laying all around. She walked over to a duffle bag she had spotted, as she reached for the bag she heard the growing rumble of what could only be the impala. She quickly crouched down moving toward the kitchen and her bag. Positioning herself under the front window where she wouldn't been seen when the door was opened. She peeked out of the window and saw that it was Dean, or something that looked like her brother. She pulled her backpack open and dug for her silver knife and her supply of cleaner and salt. She had the advantage of surprise and was going to take it, of course she hoped it was her brother, but she had to be absolutely sure it was him. Better safe than sorry. Millie tightened her grip on her knife as she listened to the sound of heavy boots on the path to the door. He turned the handle and stepped inside, unaware of the ready figure waiting for him. Millie didn't hesitate as she leapt onto Deans back throwing her weight forward cause Dean to lose his balance. Millie caught his arms around her legs pinning his shoulders with her knees. Now on top of him with his face to the floor she grabbed a fist full of salt and reaching around shoved it in Deans mouth. Dean choking and spitting bits of salt tried to twist himself around to see his attacker. Pushing his weight to one side and looking back over his shoulder he got doused in what smelled like cleaning fluid. Without trying to wipe the liquid off of his face, he twisted all the way to one side and in one fluid motion rolled over on top of Millie and pinned her to the floor.

"Millie?!" he shifted off her in surprise.

Ignoring her brothers remark she reached for the knife that was now on the floor, snatching it up she started towards her brothers arm. Before she could test his skin Dean caught hold of her wrist.

"Millie, I'm not a shape shifter."

"prove it" Millie spat back.

Dean took the knife from her hand and slid the knife across his forearm. Leaving a line of red and drops of blood running. "See?"

Millie sighed in relief. "Awesome. Now get off me."

Dean looked down at their bodies and realized he was straddling his little sister. He quickly got off and tried to help Millie up. Denying his out stretched hand, she got up snatching up the salt and cleaning fluid bottle. Dean watched her in confusion as she flung salt at herself.

"Millie I know its you. You don't have to do that."

"Shut up. Yes I do." She took the cleaner and poured it on herself. Once recovered from having the cool fluid run down her front, she looked around for her knife. Once spotting it in Deans hand she snatched it from him. Then holding eye contact with Dean, she rolled up her sleeve. Giving Dean a 'pay attention look' she proceeded to hold the knife flat against her skin. She smirked at her brother. "See? That's how you skin test silver. Now you're bleeding and I'm not."

Dean took a couple steps closer to his sister, "oh shut it" he said as he scooped her into a hug. "How the hell did you get here?"

"I took a bus"

"I didn't know the greyhound went to purgatory"

Pulling out of Deans arms "so you knew where I went?"

"I am smart enough to figure things out on my own sometimes"

"speaking of on your own, where's Sammy?"

Deans face turned hard as he started to speak "Millie,.." he was cut off by the sound of tires coming up the gravel drive. Millie and Dean both jumped into action crouching down and moving to the font window. Peering out through the curtain they watched as a silver San Leandro Ford pulled up next to the impala. As the drivers door opened out climbed Sam.

"well speak of the devil" Millie whispered.

Dean looked over at his sister a smirk in his eyes. "are you gonna test him too?"

"are you kidding me?" she said never really looking at Dean as she watched Sam move to the back of the car and riffle through the trunk.

"bet you can't take him down"

"the usual then?" she always took his bets to heart, she had never lost and she planned to keep it that way.

"well this should be good." Dean mumbled moving over the couch to hide behind it. Millie watched Sam for a few more seconds then moved into action. Grabbing her supplies from the floor she placed the cleaner on the window sill next to the door. Then putting her knife in her boot and pouring salt into her right hand, she hurried over to the couch and crouched down readying herself for the attack. She looked to her right and saw Dean kneeling behind the couch at the other end. As the door opened she watched Sam step in and move to take his bag from his shoulder and put it down on the ground. Quickly Millie moved into action running full speed at Sam grabbing onto his shoulder with her left hand she put her right foot into his hip and swung her leg up onto his shoulder where her hand had been. She shoved the salt into his mouth as she caught his head between her knees. Throwing her weight back and to the side she slammed Sam down on the ground. Landing on her feet she swiped the cleaner from the window and sprayed it. In the same movement she knelt on Sam's chest and swung the knife flat against his cheek.

"hey Sam" She said as she looked down at him, the knife still on his face.

"Millie!" Sam called out in surprise.

Millie reached down to help Sam up as she looked over to dean who was now on the floor laughing. "you owe me pie big brother."

"totally worth it." Dean managed through his laughter.

"you made a bet? On what?" Sam asked before scooping his sister into a hug.

"that she could take your sorry ass down Sammy. You know since she was in purgatory for a year."

"purgatory?" Sam pulled out of the hug to look at her, concern clouding his features "you were in purgatory?"

"well ya I thought you knew that though?" confusion crossing her face "Dean said he figured it out?"

"I did figure it out, awhile ago."

Mille pulled away from Sam as the pieces started to fall into place. "you two weren't working together. Were you?"

"Well Millie…" Sam started loosing his words.

"No! no we weren't" Dean interrupted his voice filling with anger the more he talked "why don't you tell her what happened Sammy, how you just took off after she disappeared. How you told me I should let it go because she was gone and wasn't coming back. Any of this sound familiar Sam?"

"What? You mean you didn't even look for me Sam?" her words came out more hurt then she wanted them to.

"Millie its not like that. You and Cas were gone, Crowley had Kevin. Bobby was dead. I didn't know what to do so I just ran."

"I mean I know we always promised we wouldn't go looking if one of us died"

"But we always broke that, because family's important, right Sammy!" Dean cut in looking directly at Sam "you let your twin sister suffer in purgatory so you could go off and live your normal life"

"Dean, I didn't know"

"Stop, just stop" Millie interrupted "we clearly have more important things to worry about, like how the king of hell has our prophet?" she couldn't believe what she was hearing, Crowley had the prophet and they were hashing out family problems.

Dean continued to glare at Sam a moment longer before turning to his little sister. "Had Kevin, he got away."

"So how did you get him out?"

It was Dean's turn to look ashamed "well I didn't, Kevin escaped on his own. but it's ok because I know where he is, and he's doing fine by himself he didn't need me."

"you let him fend for himself? The kid knows nothing about hunting and you left him to hide from demons on his own?" she was outraged. She would have never thought her brothers were such idiots.

"Millie I was focused on finding you. Kevin's a smart kid."

"that's not the problem here Dean, thank you for looking from me I appreciate it but he was our responsibility and you made him fend for himself." she didn't know what to feel anymore, her twin brother forgot about her and her older brother cared to much. She was starting to miss the simplicity of purgatory where everything just made sense. "so where is he so we can pick him up."

"somewhere on the west coast. He didn't want to be specific incase someone was listing" Millie gave Dean an exasperated look "I cant help that the kid is paranoid."

"Speaking of missing people, what happened to Cas?" chimed in Sam

Millie froze as flashes of memory crashed on to her. Her chest hurt and her arms ached, she was having a hard time remembering how to speak."Cas is gone" was all she could get out.

"gone, what do you mean gone?" her older brother gave her a concerned look

"I said what I mean Dean, gone."

"Did you actually see him die though?" Said Sam.

"He's not coming back, ok!" she was having a hard time keeping herself together she needed to change the subject and quick. Turning to Dean she held out her hand. "Give me your phone I'm going to call Kevin and find out where we need to go to pick him up" she refused to look him in the eye, fearing that ether of her brothers might see the sorrow that was lurking behind them. Dean fished his cell from his pocket and handed it to her. She turned away from the boys and walked into the living room as she flipped through his contacts. "You two go get your stuff together so we can be ready to head out when I get off the phone."


	3. Chapter 2

"West coast Dean? Really?" Millie said, poking fun at Dean from the back seat of the impala.

"Well I can't help it that the kid is paranoid" Dean says, his eye roll clearly audible in the sound of his voice. We were currently somewhere near the middle of South Dakota. About halfway to Kevin, who is in Fairfield, Iowa. MIllie laughed at Deans annoyance as she pulled out her phone. 3:27am

"Dean maybe we should find a place to stop and rest."

"Yea I'd love to stretch my legs" Sam chimed in.

"yea I guess you're right." Dean said through a yawn.

At the next exit Dean pulled off of the highway. They found a cheap motel within a few minutes. Luckily they had a room available with two queens and a pull out couch. After getting what they needed from the car they headed to their room. Dean put the room key card into the reader and the second the light turned green and the door opened Millie push her way quickly into the room hurrying over to one of the beds. She threw herself onto the queen sized bed calling out "Dibs" Sam and Dean looked at each other then back at the other queen. Both sprang into action pushing and shoving each other as they made their way towards the bed. Millie watched in amusement as her brothers wrestled for the bed. Dean gave Sam one good shove then sprang himself onto the bed.

"haha victory is mine!" Dean shouted holding his fits in the air. They then heard banging through the wall and a muffled "would you shut it?"

Millie laughed out loud as she kicked her boots off. Sam raised his hands in surrender and made his way towards the pull out sofa. As he pulled it out the springs creeked and groned, made his bed that didn't look like it was going to be long enough, then grabbed his pajamas out of his bag and went to the bathroom to change. Millie and Dean were both asleep before he came out.

When Millie woke up Dean was just coming out of the bathroom with wet hair. "Morin' sunshine"

She was a little amazed that she was the last one up. It felt nice not to watch her own back for once. "Good morning. Where's Sammy?"

"He went to check out the complimentary breakfast down stairs"

"oh cool. Well I think I'm going to hop in the shower then go join him" Millie said as she stood from the bed.

A thumbs up was the only response she got. Millie went to her bag and grabbed fresh clothes and her shampoo and conditioner. Dean rolled his eyes upon seeing the bottles. He didn't understand the need when the motels provide shampoo. But Millie knew how awful the cheap stuff was for your hair. Just because she's a hunter doesn't mean her hair had to suffer.

Once in the bathroom she turned the water on and got undressed. She jumped into the warm shower quickly. The first few minutes were spent just standing under the steaming water. Sure she had been back from purgatory for a few weeks, but it was still nice to take an actual shower. As she ran her hands through her hair she felt a scar on her hair line. She smiled at the memory it brought up, she had been secretly looking for Sam while he was in the pit. She had to lie to keep up the act but she couldn't believe Dean fell for some of them. "Oh I fell down the stairs" had been this one. It was more like thrown down a few flights of stairs while on a job. She couldn't believe he had fallen for it but it still made her laugh. Dean still doesn't find it very humorous, but that's what makes it so funny.

As her hands kept lathering the shampoo she felt another scar on her scalp. But this one didn't spark up a memory. In fact, she has so many new scars from her time in purgatory that she couldn't remember how she got most of them. Unlike the one on her fore arm from when Benny hitched a ride.

Once she was finished bathing Millie wiped the steam from the mirror. She saw her naked reflection and mentally counted the scars she could see touching each one softly. Some were small and nearly unnoticeable while others were thick and pink. Images of Cas filled her thoughts. How could he just let go? Didn't he want to stay with me? Millie's heart broke more and more with each passing moment. The sound of Sam returning to the room shook her out of the thoughts. Millie shook the thought of Cas away and started putting clothes on. She pulled on some fitted denim shorts and a black tank with a dark blue plaid flannel over it. She could hear Sam and Dean start talking in the other room as she tied her gray boots. She watched herself in the mirror as she put her long blond hair in a pony tail. Afterward, Millie leaned in to examine her face. She noticed that she seemed to have more freckles across her nose then before. _maybe I have more then Dean now_ Millie thought to herself. Freckles were almost the only thing Dean and Millie had in common. In fact the only thing Millie and Sam had in common were their eyes. Both had hazel eyes that seemed to change color in the light or with their mood. The fact that they didn't look like siblings made going undercover a whole lot easier.

"Wait, What?" Dean's loud voice drew Millie's attention.

"Dean.." Sam said trying to ease his brother. Millie leaned against the door eavesdropping on her brothers.

"You mean to tell me that you haven't even been hunting all this time?" Dean clearly getting angry with Sam. _What why would Sam stop hunting?_

"Dean, we all promised that if we died.. that the ones still living should move on with their lives"

"Yeah, we did. But since when have we ever kept that promise huh? What about when I sold my soul for you, or when you went crazy trying to bring me back from hell, or when Millie went behind my back to try and raise you from the pit?" Millie could hear the anger and disappointment in Dean's voice.

"look, it's not that I didn't want her back! But we had no idea what happened to her. For all we know Millie and Cas were dead."

"Well news flash, she was alive. In purgatory. God knows what she's been through this last year. All while you sat on your ass, doing what exactly? Because we know you weren't hunting.

"Its not like I was blind to it all. I kept an eye on the news articles, but it wasn't my problem."

"that's it you just said "not my problem" and moved on"

"yes and the world went on"

"People died Sam."

"people always do whether I'm there or not. maybe another hunter took care of it I don't know but it was fine."

"so what girl did you meet that made you turn a blind eye to your family"

"she had nothing to do with it."

"it had to be a girl," dean was getting upset and loud again "you just couldn't actually think of your sister first for once."

yes I was hurt that sam hadn't looked for me but the fact that he found a girl didn't shock me he did these thing a lot. I was use to being second on his list, I was already after dean so it's not like it was something new. it only really ever bothered me when he would replace me with animals. He loved dogs but there is nothing like knowing your brother would rather run away and be with a canine companion over you.

"it wasn't like that, what I found was something I've never had. You don't have to understand.

"so you dipped your peanut butter in her chocolate or what? how did it happen?" always crass Dean, lovely.

"I hit a dog."

My body went numb, pain shot through my chest ,my throat went dry. It had happened again. I was done eavesdropping my brother had fooled me twice and I wasn't about to let him get away with it again.

I let my anger grip me as I came out of the bathroom. "I knew I smelled dog" Sam's head jerked up and his eyes filled with surprise and then hurt. The way he looked at me almost made me forget about it and forgive him. Images of purgatory flashed through my head, Cas letting go. Maybe if sam had stopped to look for me, _maybe_ Cas wouldn't be gone. I knew I didn't really believe that but it gave me the strength to keep up the fight.

"come on, Millie you know it's not like that." sam said as he ducked he head.

" do I Sam? because what it sounds like is that you replaced me again."

"Amelia is her name, and she's a human being and out of my life. Not your replacement."

"I could care less about the girl Sam. You both seem to think I get personally offended when you run off with a girl. No Sam, this is about every time you've run away and found a dog you like better then me."

"every time?" dean piped up "how has this happened more than once."

"Sam knows exactly what i'm talking about. Isn't that right Sammy?"

"I knew you would get upset about the dog so I didn't tell you. Ok."

"you really think I'm just going to let this go so easily. How could you?"

"are you kidding me, you still won't tell us what happened down there and it's clearly affecting you. You are jumpy and nervous I can see it in your eyes. You have a whole new batch of scars. What happened to you in purgatory?"

I didn't want to talk about it. It scared me, I wasn't proud of the person I was in purgatory. I wasn't proud of how much I missed it. One look at my brothers and I knew they needed some sort of explanation, I just hoped I could get it out. "bloody. Messy. every monster you could imagine. all simply there to fight. that's all I did there was fight almost 24/7 it was just about existing. living, and making it through the fight."

As I shook myself from my reverie. I looked at each of my brothers. Sam seemed upset by what I had said, maybe he was finally feeling guilty, Dean just look distraught. I knew what he was thinking, he was upset that he hadn't been there to help at all. That the big brother couldn't swoop in to save the day.

"it's not like that anymore." Sam said as he stood up and walked over to me, eye's still trained on me. "you don't have live like that, you're safe."

I looked him in the eye "ya well I was really hoping to come back to the world not missing a prophet and a brother." that was low even for me I had spoken without thinking but I wasn't going to take it back. My brother had replaced me and I wasn't going to let it go this time.

"Millie."

"No, it's over. I saved myself from purgatory I can collect a prophet, but I can't do it on an empty stomach so I'm going to go get some food." I moved away from him and into the bathroom again. picking up my few things I walked back out and put them back in my bag zipping it up and putting it on the couch. I started to walk from the room calling back over my shoulder "just let me know when you are ready to head out." Then walked out the door.

* * *

 **Hey guys.**

 **Sorry it took me so long to update. My best friend and I are writing this story together and she has been living across the country from me up until a week ago. I promise we haven't forgotten about the story and we will be posting more regularly now that she's back. In fact we are working on the next chapter now.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)**


	4. Chapter 3

Millie was lost in thought as she stared out the window of the impala. She couldn't stop thinking about Sam and that dumb dog. She was still so mad at Sam. In fact she hasn't spoken to him since that morning.

"Sammy I need a snack" Deans voice startled Millie as he started to pull off the highway to a small town gas station. Sam grunted in reply as he got out of the car. Dean then made he way over to the back of the car to fill up the impala. She watched as he got the gas nozzle situated, he then looked through the rear window at her watching him. He seemed to consider something in his mind then moved toward the window she was leaning up against, and knocked. She slowly pulled her legs up and turned around looking at dean. He motioned for her to roll down the window.

"What's up brother?"

"the ice queen speaks" He said playfully.

"ha ha ha, very funny"

"I'm adorable, but for real Millie I know Sam's done a lot of stupid things and you have every right to be mad but what's with the dog?"

I sighed as I looked at him, did we really need to have this conversation. "what ever do you mean?" I sang in the sweetest voice I could muster.

"I mean you came out of the bathroom raving about some dog, and haven't talked since. Forgive me for being a little confused."

"Sorry about that. I just heard Sam mention the dog and I lost it. Dean its not the first time Sam has run away without me and picked up a dog along the way."

Dean looked confused for a moment "You said that back in the motel too. Not the first time? I still don't understand how this has happened more than once."

"So, do you remember years ago when I got sick, and Sam ran away."

"How could I forget. Dad was so angry that I even thought of leaving the house. It took us two weeks to find him and you cried the whole time. I don't think I'll ever forget that one."

"Ya well we planned to run away together. He had been talking about it for weeks. We had plans and knew where we were going to go. A few days before he left I got really nervous. I knew dad would find us and that he would be so mad and I tried to talk him out of it, I even threated to tell you. Then I got sick and he saw his opportunity and took it."

"I remember Millie but where are you going with this?"

"when we found him he had a dog. I remember the way dad and Sam argued about the dog for twenty minutes. Sam wanted to keep it and dad was having none of that. Dad made Sam leave the dog and get in the car. I had tried to talk to him but he only blamed me for dad finding him. He thought I ratted him out. He had said a lot of hurtful things that I honestly cant remember any more. But in his anger he said that he wished he could stay with the dog instead being with me."

"Millie you cant still be upset over something prepubescent Sam said a hundred years ago." Deans exaggeration would have made me laugh if I wasn't so serious about this.

"Of course Dean that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. The problem is that it also wasn't the last time he did it." The gas pump had clicked and Dean moved around the back of the black car to put back the nozzle. I leaned my head out of the car window unwilling to get out and follow Dean. "none of us will ever forget Sam leaving for Stanford."

Dean scoffed as he moved back my window. "No, no we will not."

"Well in the heat of his anger he said some pretty harsh things."

"To you? I thought dad got the brunt of Sam's wrath"

"Oh he did. But Sam had felt like I didn't have his back the night he felt. He had worked so hard to get accepted and he talked to me about it every step of the way. When Sam looked to me to back him up I froze and when I tried to fix it after he shot me down. We fought words were said, basically he said he didn't need me so I told him to go. In fact I told him to go, get a dog live your picket fence life. We don't need you." It still hurt, I will always regret those words but I couldn't take them back now just like I couldn't take them back then.

"Ouch, no wonder he never answered your calls. So you told him to get out and get a dog. How does you telling him to live a normal life fit in with replacing you with mutts?"

"He went and did just that. I use to check in on him when we were in the area. He never knew, I mean the kid barely answered my calls he would have never let me in to his life, but I caught him. Sam had finally listened to me for once. He went and got a dog because he didn't need me again. And now I come back from a year of the living slasher flic to find out the my brother has once again been reminded that with out me he can live the life he has always dreamed of. Dog and all."

"Dean they didn't have any HoHo's but they had these little pie squares so I got some of those as well as some beef jerky." Sam appeared around the side of the gas pump with a few half empty grocery bags.

"Yes" Dean exclaimed as he climbed back in to the drivers seat. I rolled the window back up as Sam got in refusing to look at him again. As we started to pull out of the station Sam twisted in his seat as he placed a single white bag on the floor in between the front and back benches. I looked down and saw a can of bbq Pringles and a king size Snickers bar. He might replace me but at least he remembers what I like.

* * *

 **Hey guys.**

 **We know this is kinda a short chapter. So, we're sorry. But more is coming.** **also we're wanting to start doing oneshots of their lives before where our story picks up. if you have any situations or episodes that you'd like to see Millie in just let us know.**

 **thanks again.**

 **-M &D**


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